Do people really love you?

• Generally, we have lots of friends around us.
• We also have interaction with many people around us.
• People be with you because they love you, like you.
• We also are with the only one we like to be with.
• But have you ever wondered why they love you?
• Why do your friends and others like your company?

• Do they like your quality or do they really love you as a good human?
• Generally, people be with others as they like their quality.

A normal condition:

• We like others or we feel affection for others or we love others, thinking following things:

• And lots more.

• But quality is not the thing that defines them.
• Their humanity, behavior, honesty, respect for others and their nature defines them.
• You should love people the way they are, not because they have some quality.
• You are not a thing sold in the market, that people see your quality and love you.

• I have noticed that when people are with you because of your quality, they stop being with you in a short or long while because of two reasons:

1. After some time when your quality is lost or you stop doing the thing they like about you.
2. When they find someone else better than you, about the thing they like about you.

Example: If some people watch a movie of an actress/actor because they are beautiful/ handsome, now when they find another actor having the same quality better than the previous one, they will watch their movies first and may leave watching previous actor/actress’s movie.

Real life example:

1.     In a relationship, I heard many girls complaining that ”At first he was so caring, pampering, paying much attention to me but now he has changed ”

• If we look on the other side of the boy, he may have realized his responsibility and now have thought to set the life in a better way.
• It does not mean he has forgotten her but, he is working hard for both of them and to give her a better life. 
• Here, she feels dejected as she had only seen his qualities of love and pamper.

2.     There was a group of friends in a college.

• Everyone at the initial stage used to hang out a lot.         
• But as the hardship increased semester by semester some of the member of the group started to focus on the studies and hang out a little.
• So the member who still hang out much, leaving them found a new group.
• They were divided into two groups and used to have less interaction.
• One group on the way of studies and other always hanging out.
• So when the quality that people like about you is lost, sometimes they stop being with you.

3.     I have noticed that when I was in school, the faculties used to give more attention to the students who are clever in studies.

• When some of the students from them, because of some reason becomes dull (i.e. when their score decrease), they pay less attention to them.
• But all are not same some faculties also pay attention to all the students.
•  They understand them, ask their problems and consider it their duty to bring them forward.

Poem:

DO THEY REALLY LOVE YOU?

What makes someone love you or like you?

I reckon most think the way we look on the outside,

Who cares to perceive how we are on the inside.

What makes someone love you or like you?

Is it because we are always ready to help our friends,

And sometimes if we can't why the friendship ends.

What makes someone love you or like you?

I hope it isn't dependent on how much money we spend,

It must be by doing good and making an angel of a fiend.

What makes someone love you or like you?

Sadly it turns out because you articulate so well,

But they soon find others who have something better to tell.

What makes someone love you or like you?

Surely you'll find doing good never goes vain,

If you'll be a better person and a little more humane.

-By Anonymous

What to do?

• Love people by understanding them.
• Understand their situation.
• Everyone is not about use and throw (seeing qualities, use them for your benefits till you can)
• If you see humanity in others, no matter if they have that quality or not they will surely help you.

(Remember: A good human always help others, so instead of developing qualities try to be a good human and also search for one.)

Look at you:

• If you mark others surrounding you about, why they love you.
• You also need to have a focus on yourself that, do you also do the same thing?
• Why you love others or be with others, for what reasons?
• If you love others because of their quality stop that.
• Start loving people because of their humanity.
• Love others because they are good humans.
• Love them for their good thoughts.
• Love without selfish motive.

Conclusion:

• When you stop doing something that keeps you in highlight people forget you, if they just love your quality.
• If people love someone because of the beauty, what if they find someone more beautiful?
• If you complete your notes first, what if you also be like others?
• If you are rich and spend money always but, suddenly stop doing that then what happens? (your friends might search someone else and may remember you less)
• In a group project why someone wants to stay with you? (Thinking that you are good or because you will take full responsibility of project?)
• So if you are surrounded by group or friends think why they love you.

Must do this:

• From now own love others or be with others because they are good.
• Like or love others the way they are.
• Accept the good changes in them and understand them.
• Among the people who surround you, search who really loves you or who just wants to be with you because they benefit from you.
• Be more with the one who really likes or loves you.

(Image courtesy of Divya Prasad)